Friday, November 28, 2008

Simple Plan

"Welcome to my life"-it says it all!

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Ying-Yang

Wishing you a happy and blessed day! Hello, I had to many things in my mind that I wanted to key in, but at this very moment, it has all dissapeared to the very corner of my cerebral cortex.Reason? I had not enough sleep and reason for that would be...? My exams of course , the only thing that would be the cause of my deprivation of sleep.I would not say that I am doing the last minute studies, cause I have done my studies but you know, the extra conscious me and my tiny voice in me that is constantly questioning myself Is it enough?...Can you remember?... What if something else comes out?...Hmmm, sounds like lack of confidence? Sigh, I am working on it.Anyway, I have completed my postings. And the next thing I would cross out from my to-do list would be" going for a trip " and so I did! I am happy for myself! Well , I am not the going out type, actually I am ( sorry , you are confused?I know, just bear with me) but it is just that so many things comes to mind all the time when I plan on going out- and the end result, yup you guessed it right-I don't go anywhere! So, last week I planned the trip and left without much thinking. People do say, there are things in life you should not think much or you will end up no where and it just adds up to the confusion! Very true! I will post a blog on the trip to Penang very soon , with pictures hopefully, not today, my eyes are burning! Other than that, I had quite a challenging week, granted a chance to meet the utmost irresponsible creature on earth! Very inhumane!Then things just get ugly and spoils your day! Anyway, don't want to go on talking about it, got over already, so will drop it, and move on! God has a funny way of testing a person-no argument!Oh yes, I would not say its all that bad, I was also blessed with an oppurtunity to meet a wonderful and understanding person.Hence, I would say it was a balanced week- more like the ying and yang concept. And I have also accepted an invitation from a friend to go out for a drink for my birthday- something that I would not have done if I was still the old me! I am trying to push aside the negative energy and after all I deserve to be happy! Take care!

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Face On The Other Side Of The Mirror

Holla! Barack Obama won, yup I know my shoutings of joy came in much later, but, hey don't blame me, I have been going through 4 weeks without an internet connection. Anyway, that was for my dad! If dad was physically present, I am sure he would have supported our African-American president. So, hooray for the both of us, rite acha! Well, getting back to me ,I am doing my 5 th week of posting with an entirely different group starting from today. The first four weeks was more like a warming up period.Honestly, I congratulate myself for surviving this long , coming to think of all the fear of meeting and being in an entirely different group prior to this. Will present myself an ice cream this weekend=) However, I still suck at remembering names! Trying my best, trust me.As you know, this world is made of all kinds of people-thin,fat,tall,short,baby ,adult,child, the smart ones,( I don't believe in the presence of stupid and dumb people, God gave us all the same brain, and it all strongly depends on the effort- with the effort, comes the knowledge) so I would prefer to say the lazy and the extremely hardworking ones, and then comes the most complex of all- attitude ( notice, I have not written an opposite word to it, cause attitude as such is a very wide subject to touch upon, as it comprises of all sorts of character) .And this is the one essence of human nature that I find pretty amusing. For an example, being smart can be grouped into few catogeries:
- smart weirdos - ones that are smart but with very unaccepting funny behaviours
- smart nice- ones that are smart and down to earth
- smart smart- ones that are smart and super smart in living their lives, something
like smart in finding money by making use of others, only wants the best for themselves, some sort like selfish
- smart smart nice- ones that are the smart and super smart in living their lives, but
they don't misuse others for their hidden intentions
- extra smart- these are the smart but they puzzle you at times when they don't know what
to do when they are put in situations that can be easily solved by an uneducated person ( Again, I don't believe they are uneducated person, cause in our lives, each day offers us something to
learn- education is not acquired via books and schools only!However, I am using the word to prove my point.)
So, you see, each day, we face these people, that are just different than us. It is learning how to deal with these people, that is the real challenge! Like a cob web, too complex!
Hence people say stay true to yourself, be yourself only, and then there is no question of accommodating to other people's attitude! But honestly, in today's world, is it really possible? From the words of Mr.Donovan himself " fake it till you make it". If you don't accommodate then you will be left behind, it is a competitive world after all! Frustrating I know, but do you have a choice.Well , you need to survive as well. But then again, when you treat everyone the way they are, does it not sound like you are having multiple personality disorder?=) Confused?...
Anyway, it is up to you to take charge of your life! You do the decision! Adios, may you be wrapped up with God's love!
p/s= I think I used too much of the word 'smart", that now it seems meaningless to me. *sigh*

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Little Tiny Tot

Its funny to think how kids say amazing things in certain circumstances.When we actually take the time to reflect upon it, you will realize their world is the world of peace having "no worries" and " immortality" as its ingredients and wrapped around with love! As I was growing up , that was exactly how my world was- no worries!But the truth was, I always had others to do the worrying part for me.Nowadays, its more like ,I do the worrying and the advicing. I used to read articles on kids and their wonderful sayings, all the time thinking it was just messages printed on a piece of paper by some grown up adults for our viewing or rather to send us some kind of advice inderectlty to ponder on, not actually said by any of those kids.However,not till I experience it that I realized I was sooo wrong!As dad was on his final journey to God, I remember mum explaining to Thejas ( my nephew), 5 years old, what was happening in between her sobs. He just stood there calmly, and said " Just wave the wand, and amacha (grandpa in my language) will wake up". I know I teared more listening to him. I wish this complicated thing called life was that easy- use the wand and things will be back to normal. Let's face the fact, its not! As we venture into adulthood, things just became even more complicating and confusing, but somehow with time we move on. And at the end of the day, we take it as a wonderful learning experience, and will know how to react if we were to face the same situation in the future. We just become more matured. Its like " been there, done it, and will know how..." kinda thing. Well, this is the reality of life. However, there are days when I wish I was a child again!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Guardian Angel

~In loving memory of my dad~
Five months have passed by, and the thoughts, memory and especially the love for you is stronger than before.Weird, you might say if you are physically present here, I would have thought the same if someone were to tell me , but it is the truth.When you were near , I saw you, we spoke, we had woderful days together and all the great stories of childhood that you shared with me , of course, I can never forget how you got your job , blessings from god you would say. But now, when you are physically absent, in this past five months, all I do is I think about you-every second and minute of the day.Nowadays, I will always wonder what would acha would have said if he was here, what would he have done. Now when I am down, I talk to you still, staring at the photograph every time, its different, yes, five months ago I would do a little bit of complaining when I am switched to my depressed mood and you would do all the advicing part along with all the 'still find it amazing' proverb and philosophy of yours, but now I do the talking and you just listen, but I know you are there to help invisibly, my Guardian Angel, that's what Sham says all the time and I know deep down in my heart it is the truth!
Love you always!