Thursday, April 30, 2009

Butterfly Utopia

When I was 10, Chumi ( my 3rd sis) and I followed Suja ( my first sis) and her now husband, then boyfriend=) to the butterfly park. Out of the many many creatures that I saw there, which I don't remember now, only one butterfly caught my eye and the image of it has been locked in my memory for a very long time. It is the snake butterfly. Look at the ends of the wings and you would be able to see the head of a snake at both sides.Awesome! The most beautiful creature yet dangerous looking at the same time. Beauty and the beast in one frame? Maybe. Anyway, it is called the Atlas moth.The great Atlas Moth is believed to be the world's largest moth. The Atlas Moth is named after the Greek titan Atlas, who was punished with the weight of the Earth on his shoulders for eternity. Females are considerably larger than males. Atlas Moths are sometimes raised for their silk, known as "fagara". Their cocoons are used to make purses in Taiwan. And you know what's the cool thing , its only purpose in the world is to mate! Yes, you heard it right, only to mate. So, it only lives for a period of one or two weeks. Sadly, it does not have a mouth, thus it does not eat and survives off deposits reserved when it was a caterpillar.The part that its pretty with all the vibrant colours and looks fearsome sounds great but not the fact that it does not have a mouth!!! Aiks, I can't imagine not having one=)

Suffering in Silence

The wound is still raw.Feel like hugging you at this very moment. I want to feel secure in your hug. I want you to tell me everything is going to be alright. The memories of you came back today. I attended a friend's birthday party today, her mum and dad was there. And all I can think of is you. How we used to be like that as a family at one point of time. Just us. The same love and care. Missing your presence. Though mine did not last after my 2oth birthday. You have not only gone , but along with you I have lost everything else. I wish at times I was never closed to you cause the departure seems worse. I fake my smile, my happiness and I have got to be strong for so many people and for so many reasons. I cry myself to sleep and console myself. Its everything about me and on my own. No one else is there now. When you were around, my circle was complete, now its shattered. I am afraid of getting myself attach to anyone for the fear of being hurt again! At times I fall to my lowest point in life and there is no one to pull me up , how I wished everything was back to normal!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Just One Of Those Things To Ponder On

I can't stand insensitive people! Yet, they are whom I meet again and again. And when do you come across them? When your mood is already down and they come along to make it worse! I could have snap back at them, but no I could not do that ( so me) , I would probably end up feeling bad and have tears rolling down my cheeks. Annoying I know! It is not that I am afraid but it is the fact that I am not going to change anything by shouting back. These are the sort of people that feels the pleasure from hurting someone! So, no point arguing, you will probably end up looking far worst than them. The positive way of thinking - just be happy that by being the victims of these insensitive people , you actually make them feel happy=) You feel like murdering me? =) I know, haha. Anyway I meet a wonderful character last week. My lecturer actually , she was telling me about her life ( as usual , I somehow get myself connected to many people, but the Question is where do I go for my own comfort???) and how she had to endure many things to be where she is now. Someone very strong and positive I would say, second to my mum! She was harsh on me not to give up in life! Yes , harsh! She was one of those people who don't motivate you in a soft manner more like the threatening way. Whatever it is , I still feel blessed to have spoken to her. You will be amazed when you speak to people, only to realize what are all the things they had to go through in life to be where they are! Till then, lets keep the happiness chain rolling! Make someone happy today though yours is quite crappy! Love You!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I'm A Rebel

This black defined eye may puzzle you,
Gothic you may say,
Style? May be...
Hiding would be it,
This curls may amaze you,
Cute you may think,
Free spirit is more like it!
You see me laughing,
Makes your day,
"I am ONLY surrounded by happiness",
You may wonder,
Truth be told
There is the other side of me that is locked away,
Don't be fooled by my sweetness,
Cause I am a rebel!

Friday, April 10, 2009

If Only I Can Hit The Rewind Button...

~11 months and still fresh~

Missing you! Teared many times cause the thought of you just keeps coming back though at times I tried running . I felt hurt and crushed the day a new political change took place. I only realized we had a new prime minister during the mid day, felt very upset, at that very moment wished you were here telling me and discussing what's going on.You should know better, politics and me are far apart, yet I try so hard to keep abreast with everything new, but at times I just can't and really wished you were here, cause ALL things were so much easier in your presence.You will be surprised to see me now if you were physically present, I have changed so much, feel like I am growing up everyday. TOO matured at times, at times feel like going back to the usual me, to be just like how I was in your presence, feel like listening to all the advices and stories we used to share. Missed the "standing in the balcony times" and making fun of ama. Really wished it could all happen again. Missed you calling me "simandhi putri". Now its me and my battle!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Been kissed

I had a rather challenging day, just went on to be the depressing one. I finally managed to pull myself up and went to temple. Just sat there- only me and God. But God is not that bad after all, he gave me a happy ending.Saw this kid, one and a half years old, no words to describe him.Xtremely adorable! Someone should put a sign on him*CAUTION-XTREME CUTENESS CAN BE DANGEROUS*, u know the sort of thing that keeps you away from a place.Anyway back to my story, the little pie mimicked every action of mine. He came up to me and planted a kiss right on my lips with all the saliva of course but it did not bother me at all, in fact I felt blessed cause I was the chosen one=) Then being the usual me, I gave him one of the banana I had in my hand, he ran back to his mum and came back to me to get all of the flowers and the last fruit I had.I gave it to him. I couldn't control myself, I just pinched and stroked his cheek till the deep dimple is formed. God, what a sight.Really made my day!Feel like my energy level just went up.Anyway all the low mood should be due to the once in a month hormonal change that takes place. The only time in life I ever wish I was a boy is during this time of the month and also wish I could swap places with all the boys. And the only time I want to get married is each time my exams are near. Oh ya, did I mention that I end my day with ice-blended mint mocha.Perfecto!Plus, before leaving the boy stroked my cheek=)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

My Penang Trip 2

I look scary!

Parames, what you doing?

Precious friends

The gal next to me has very beautiful eyes, well defined!

I like how rathi's curls and the " whatever" spiral thing hanging from the tree complementing each other!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Me and the "liltle" Gods


Me and Sinduja

Me and Divu

Me and Thejas

Kids! They colour my world! A picture of God's perfection. Its like having God next to you.A world with no problem, all laughter, crying and fighting, and yet no grudge. Absolute perfection. They bring smile to my face, brighten my day and my heart feels lighter.They say the wackiest things and also the most intelligent things, that make you think. Fat, round, ball-like babies are ma favourite with big big eyes and all smiles.Sometimes I can't control myself, just feel like pinching their cheeks and taking them home! I like to make kids cry, love the change in their expression, hai, so adorable! Nop, I am not a sadist. You will understand what I am talking about when you grow up with a child. I have always wanted a "kindergarten" full of kids, probably will have my uterus out with the birth of my last child=) I just wish kids never grow up , they just remain the same all throughout, quite impossible I know,will continue loving these "little Gods" with all my heart!


Happy April's Fool!* not to sure if people actually wish, but i do, makes me happy* Did not play a prank on anyone though.A friend tried, but it went unfruitful=) Anyway, wanted to share something very interesting from my psychiatry class. My lecturer said that we are all like onions! Ring a bell??? Yup, that's exactly how Shrek described himself to donkey! We are made from layers and layers of extremely thin skin that makes up a big fat ball- the onion! Depending on which layer that is being peeled, we portray our emotions! See, no one is perfect, as much as we try to maintain our cool and walk around like nothing bothers us ( which as a matter of fact they often do) just that it is all stored up under this so called thin layers of the onion, just waiting to blow up one day when someone steps on the trigger button! At times its better to let go off your frustration to a close friend at that very moment than bottling it up, as it will only be disastrous for us in the end. So, that's basically a philosophical theory, upto us on how we want to perceive it.As for me, I absolutely agree with Shrek!By the way, finally got my net connection, but kinda slow, and as usual there are just so many things to pen down but time is my major problem now! Will try to find the time though, till then, wishing you a blessed day and love you all!