Thursday, July 23, 2009

Fling or Commitment?

Bonjour!I just finished watching "He's just not that into you" and I want to write on love and girls. For many of you who have watched that movie , its not exactly the type of movie that will make you wanna fall in love or have all that I think I-am-ready-to-have-a-men-in-my-life sort of effect , just a simple movie with a practical ending to it ( Nevertheless , the kinda movie that gives me that feeling would be movies like "Never Been Kissed" ) Love this movie! Absolutely , even more just for Drew Barrymore! Anyways , as I was watching, thought to myself the way Gigi acted is just so predictable! It is just like many of us girls will do! Let me enlighten you, for those of you who did not watch-she goes around waiting for the so call Mr.Right's phone all day long , which of course did not happen, cause he has someone else to flirt with, than another guy comes along, and he leaves her signs all the way long like he is interested , than goes about saying "oh you just misunderstood the whole thing!" when she likes him, than leaves her again* just wondering- why are we called the complicated ones again?*I remember having this conversation with a friend once, and she went on lamenting about how she does not have a boyfriend and how her mum goes about pushing her to get one and she is just left with a whole lot of frustration! Then, there is the constant mumbling about what do we do if all the pretty girls with pre-existing boyfriends flirts? What do we do??? I can't pull out a guy from my pocket and show my mum! Next the conversation goes into series of self-blaming episodes - I am fat, I am ugly , He does not find me attractive, and yes I forget to mention, always put the blame on the other girl with a lot of wishes=)- She is a flirt ,Wish she gets caught one day, Wish her actual boyfriend leaves her..than she knows how it feels! And right after all this, the conversation will slowly drift to our dreams " You know ruby, just wish one day, I will flirt as much and he will fall for me and I will gladly tell him a big no and have his heart broken into pieces, just so that he will feel what I go through! Well fair enough, and of course than we have a good giggle by making fun of both the girl and guy and than go to bed.The next day, we forget everything ,till something happens or till someone steps on the trigger button, and the cycle repeats. { We girls get emotionally intoxicated before we loose our social inhibition and start pouring out things , that's why we don't require the booze!) Oh, just if you are wondering what I could have said, well here goes, same thing all the time " Hey look at me I am doing fine without one , it can't be that bad, he will come along, you just have to wait patiently" (though,once in a while , it does sound pretty annoying to hear myself say such things and in one corner of my brain, some clusters of my cells does warn me to stop lying, there is no such thing as waiting for Mr.Perfect, it does not happen that way! And this my dear friend, is called life!) Though I am more of a person always living in fantasy , always thinking things will almost always work out fine, but honestly it never did! ) On the other hand , I had another friend who had two boyfriends at the same time and cheating on the both of them and I overheard her congratulating a friend of hers on how lucky she is to have found love and how she wish she could be just like that.And mind you both the guys she was dating are nice guys. Clear cut , she just can't appreciate! You know its just the temporary fling , to satisfy her needs! Probably she would say I have not find the right one yet, but I think its crap! We always do it don't we, we never learn to appreciate what we have , we take for granted when someone care for us so much till we loose them. Oh by the way, I don't say a thing in such situation , cause firstly, if its your fault then you deserve a slap more than a shoulder to cry on or secondly I have not fallen in love so I can't possibly know what you mean.But knowing my friend a little above too well, I would stick with the first possibility. However, the one thing that kept me thinking from just know, is what happens to all those wonderful girls with a decent attitude? We constantly become the heart-broken victims , kept in the why-mode all the time- why has he not called yet, why can't he ask me out , why this and why that... trust me, we can go on for hours doing nothing but just questioning why's , than shed tears and come up with all the possible answers to satisfy ourselves and worst still we come up with answers to back him up when somewhere deep down in the tiny miny portion of our hearts we know he is a complete asshole! It keeps me wondering all the time , but I think it is an inborn thing , its in our genes! And when we have someone , we try so hard to keep them to ourselves that we become to o overprotective and suspicious and then ruin everything. Life is trust! But with so many weirdos ( girls and guys) nowadays , trust has become a matter of reassurance with constant questioning and possible ways to make sure he/she does not cheat on you. With that said, I think luck plays a big part, when you find the right one,it fits in like a jigsaw- puzzle , perfect! And when I mean perfect- I mean there must be loads of fighting , loads of loving , loads of humor , loads of "I don't like you" , loads of " I love you" ,loads of being childish, loads of being matured,wrapped up in bundle of trust, care , and responsibility! This would be my definition of perfect! I want both the ying and yang, good and bad! I want to be able to say " I am sorry " and " I love you". Can you imagine a life that is too perfect? Its like going on a road with no ups and downs , its like listening to the broken recorder again and again and again...I would be bored to death even before I start the journey. Its these little fights that at times that will spice things up and strengthen the bond. Than I can bravely say , I have been with him through thick and thin , through the best and the worst. I just thought of another friend of mine telling me once, "I have gone through so many hardships in life , just hoping my married life will be a happy one! "How true? Don't we all want that , something to call ours, someone to witness our life, to share it with? Well, I know I do...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My House Dictionaries

I just realized I am too lazy.I grew up having my mum correcting my grammar all the time. Every English exam, I find myself asking her the same thing:-Is it"I have"... "There are or there is"... "Oh ya Ma is this plural or singular?" is always the same thing, and my mum knows her daughter too well , yet I don't hear a single complaint from her side , she patiently answers my questions. I wouldn't say I don't know my grammar , but it is more of reassurance. I feel much more confident having my mum reassuring me it is correct and I think she knows it too. Even too skip classes , I have gotta inform her , it is as if when she approves it , I am more at peace.Honestly , I can never understand myself! Confidence is something that should be growing in me every year , but it just seem to be fading away in myself!And the thought of moving my ass and flipping through the vocabulary dictionary doesn't seem so fancy , so I would rather have my mum answering my questions.She is more like my walking dictionary! The other dictionary I had in life was my politics and life dictionary.Well , I only had it for 21 years. Then,all of a sudden , it just disappeared into thin air one day and now I am hanging in mid-air, taking my own initiative and learning everyday, from the so called hands on experience that life provides me with----- more like in the making of my own dictionary on life! By the way, I was referring to my dad. He had always been my "quick reference" when it comes to politics. Let me see , I never know more than who is the prime minister of my country. For further information on my country's political hierarchy, dad always comes in handy and he too knows it well. I often get the answers for my questions and it almost always ends with the same line " Ruby ma, u should no about politics, read the papers more..." and needless to say my response had never changed too for the many many years , it is always the serious nodding from my side , and yet what do I do? Nothing! I ran back to him each time I need to know something. And he too knows it well , that I never did what he told me, but he never fails to do so cause that is what daddy's are meant to do-- give endless advice to a stubborn and lazy daughter! Since he left , I am trying my best to learn on my own , though I sometimes go back to my sister for some fatherly advice. Though thank god, I am still surviving because I have my English dictionary with me!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Inspire Me

"Throw back the shoulders, let the heart sing, let the eyes flash, let the mind be lifted up, look upward and say to yourself... Nothing is impossible!"
~ Norman Vincent Peale

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
~ Henry David Thoreau

"Each day is a new life. Seize it. Live it."
~ David Guy Powers

"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. "
~ Cadet Maxim

"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."
~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's."
~ Billy Wilder

"Leap and the net will appear. "
~ Zen saying

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will."
~ Dr. Robert Anthony

"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure."
~ Unknown

"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. "
~ Henry Van Dyke

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."
~ Benjamin Spock

"Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, `Grow, grow.'"
~ The Talmud

" Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. "
~ Mark Twain