Sunday, November 29, 2009

23 And Don't Feel Like One

Its exactly 23 years today, since my existence in this world. Yup,its my birthday.So,Happy Birthday to me. I was supposed to have completed my notes today, but, nop, had a change in plan. In total, I would have at least spend 3 hours on the phone today, that too two hours continuously. Now,I am finding myself having difficulties concentrating on anything.I think its the after effect of using the hand phone--- probably an estimated 10 % of my brain cells would have been dead by now=(. I actually feel the difference=) Forgive me, if you find myself crapping, but I am in the phase between "Shall I stay up and study" or " Shall I go to bed".I can feel my eyes burning! Honestly all I wanted to do was to write about life in the past 23 years.Now, that I am staring at the screen to type away, there is no output. Well, I think the "input" must have got destroyed with the cells. Anyway, quite a slow day, did not feel all the " Oh Yes Its My Day Today". Just felt like any other normal day. Got too emotional at one point of time. But, God is great know? He send me a cake and wishes in the form of my housemates! So,yes, for that I am grateful. Well,I think I am going to go to bed after all. Don't think the cup of coffee is going to make any difference. There were many things I learned this week from my friends, some really worth full lessons of life.Will share it with you guys soon.Have a blessed and splendid day ahead.And once again,Happy Birthday to me- what? Hey, it was the day I was born, I need credit for it=) Love you people. Oh by the way, I saw a picture of Susan Boyle today and I think she has got a nice hair do that suits her face. And, hmm,well, I actually think Adam Lambert looks good! I think its the eyeliner and spiked up hair and the.. well so not bad smile.

I Need To Keep Going

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
George S. Patton

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
St. Clement of Alexandra

We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, November 16, 2009

My Life:Less than 48 hours (part 2)

So, this is how it goes- Yesterday, all happy and energetic I drove to the station to get myself train tickets to go back this weekend in which I will have to skip one day of my hospital posting.This is for my lovely sister's registration cum engagement. I told myself I am going to be part of it, plus its only ENT (ear,nose and throat) posting, does not really matter. So ,yeah I bought the tickets. One of the students from this new group told me that class is at 9, but I had no idea he was referring to the clinics and not the days where my lecturer will be taking me. Hence, the second day, which is today, I was late for class about 20 minutes ( it started at 8.30). But cool,she has not started the class yet. So, I assumed she must be talking something irrelevant at the start of the class. But little did I know it was me she was talking about. After 5 minutes, it registered to her that I was there. That's when she mentioned that she has told the group not to proxy for me and get me into trouble and this is the best part " I have told them to be strict with you". All I had to say, was "okay doc, okay doc". Now tell me, firstly, whom exactly did I ask to cover up for me???None! I have been coming to the classes. And this is not even my own group and I am just warming up to them, so who on earth am I supposed to trust to do anything? I have learned not to trust anyone, it takes me ages to gain some one's trust! Even this I can digest. But when she uttered this "I have told them to be strict with you" - all I wanted to do was to run away somewhere! Common lady, who the hell are these people to be strict with me.They are there just like me to learn! They are not even some house officers or medical officers to be strict with me. And worst still they are my juniors. What an impression have you created about myself in front of them, made it sound like I play truant all the time!!!Life can be weird at times, you go the right way and you get picked on all the time.Give me a break! And mind you this was the same lady, who hugged me and told me her stories-how she grew up, how she was treated and some personal things and she was the same person who told me to be strong because at times like this people will bully you. So , you can imagine how shocked I was.The least you could have done was to call me separately and talk to me, & not to do it in front of a whole bunch of new students!God, madness! Honestly, how much more do I need to go through??? I did not say much after that. Just needed to talk to my mum, which I did after the class. And after that, exactly the same time yesterday when I went to buy my tickets, I returned it. The plan for this week has been cancelled! Guess, I will be going for the class after all. I have been quite prominent nowadays due to my deferment of studies and with all those jumping of batches, that I get noticed all the time. Frustrating! I will just hang on till I am done with my finals, till I get my life back on the right track. Though deep down I know she is a nice person, but yet I felt really hurt. Maybe she meant good but her choice of word and place was just not appropriate. At times, it just hits me so badly, that I wonder what am I doing in this field. Do I have the passion for it- I can't answer and I am hoping to find out one day and yet I give my best( I believe in giving my best in anything I do, I don't quit!)... What I have learned in this past one year five months to be exact is some doctors can be quite demanding, they constantly forget they are humans and not God! Some can squeeze your every last bit of energy from your pores and leave you with no room to breathe...

Friday, November 13, 2009

A Little Confession

It sure is a wonderful morning.I had long hours of sleep yesterday after being deprived of sleep due to my exams for the past 2 days. I had my OSCE exams-some question and answer sessions with the lecturers, and performing some tasks. For my psychiatry station , I was supposed to counsel my lecturer on anxiety. Look at the irony, I am the one with the anxiety, but I am counseling a psychiatrist not to be anxious. (I-yai-yai)! By the way, glad its over, now its time to prepare for my professional exams. So yeah, back to this wonderful morning, as usual, I started my day, firstly by praying, second coffee, and third my mommy.Yup, called her. She told me that she called me up yesterday night and spoke with me, and I am like what?, not again! I have this problem, when I am dead tired and deprived of sleep, I repeat ,DEAD tired, you can give me a call and talk, I will reply everything you ask, in fact you can find me telling you more P&C things, and yet I will never know I spoke to you about it. Hmm, come to think of it, it is something similiar to a guy getting pissed drunk and blabbering anything and once he has come to his senses, he can't remember.Well with me , it occurs when I am pissed-tired. Anyway as we were talking, slowly the conversation drifted to how kids sometimes take money without parents knowledge to buy some things from the tuck shop in school. Suddenly,it rings a bell, I was brought back to, hmm, 14 years ago,when I was in primary school. I remember taking a few coins without my sister's permission from her money collecting box to buy myself something from the tuck shop. And also, there was this one time I took a pretty butterfly brooch from my mum without my mum's knowledge to school to show it to my friends. What I had in my mind at that time was, I must share the beauty of man's creation with others.I swear that was my only intention but what happened was, as I was crossing the wooden bridge in my school, the brooch decided to jump out of my hands and in it went, between the wooden planks into the big drain. I wouldn't really say I was crushed but more like I had an image of myself standing in front of my mum for a second and I was scared. What was I going to tell her??? So, I decided to keep the brooch and money stories to myself. Just like a dark secret buried deep within me. But, just now, as I was talking to mum, I confessed. She giggled. Told her I was sorry. Well, what can I say, I was just a kid. But anyways, I owe my sister an apology. So,here goes.Sham chechi , if you are reading this, I am SORRY. I am the one who took your money,only a few coins though=) No, really I am sorry. I had no guts to admit it last time, but I think you should know about it.

P/S= I will call her and apologize later. By the way, any of you people have taken anything without anybody's permission when you were kids? Let me know...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Halloween Treats

CHOCOLATE PEPPERMINT BAR COOKIES

FINGER COOKIES

BRAIN CUPCAKES
FRUIT AND NUTS CHOCOLATE CHUNKS

HOMEMADE MARSHMALLOWS

HALLOWEEN SPIDER WEB COOKIES

HOSTS OF GHOSTS

CHOCOLATE S'MORE PIE

BLEEDING HEART CUPCAKES


YUM! YUM! YUM! These are some of the mouth-watering Halloween treats. Delicious rite? Anyways, I came across this site which offers all the wonderful recipes on almost everything. Just Google 'epicurios'. It goes by the tag line-for people who love to eat=) Love this site. Can't wait for my exams to over & to start baking. Do try it and let me know if you do.Adios!Love ya...