The Man

I walked into the room
I see him
Sitting at the edge of the bed
His eyes looking at the floor
I have not seen him smiling
For months now
I teared
But quickly wiped it away
He must never see me crying
I reached for his hands
Slowly moistening his palm with the lotion
" Can you scratch my back?"
"Of course" I said
Dutifully doing what I was told
As a daughter
Do you want to watch a movie?
I persistently asked
Knowing both him and I enjoyed doing it
He scolded me
I cried
No, not because of what he said
But because I am aware of his pain
It tore my heart apart
Scolding God
For putting him through this
The days flew
And than came the time when he had to leave me
I hated God
Clueless as to whats happening
The man is no more
But his teachings and his memory
Will always be treasured...

Tough Lessons Of Life

Less than 24 hours and we will be moving into a new year,2010! Unbelievable, the time is moving so fast.I have no idea what I did in the last two years. It just came and went,each day lived, yet not to the fullest.Yes, not to the fullest. I am maturing with each passing year, thus I expect myself to set goals and learn more, and be more responsible and set my priorities right. However little did I know, God had His own plans.Though it was not a smooth ride, but I definitely learned more.Mostly the lessons of love, life, family, friends, and trust. I have learned to appreciate the smallest things in life.To be grateful for being able to wake up each morning and to be able to see and feel the warm morning sunlight.To be grateful to hear my mum's voice every morning. To be grateful to be blessed with sisters who are supportive. Most importantly, I know I have a shoulder to cry on when I need one. What more could I ask for? I am truly blessed. My friends have also thought me valuable lessons. Along the way, I met friends whom I was not closed too initially. Funny, when things were fine for me, the world seemed polished! No problems,everyone seemed happy, but it was these two years that thought me people fall into the dark pit and they just climb out of it, and move on.They try to create the life they want. Honestly, it is never the end of the world when problems come your way. It is merely an opportunity for you to be strong, to grow, to learn and to survive. I have been pushed around a lot in the last two years. There were times when I had to bit my tongue and keep quite when something really unacceptable and irrational happens. I was not left with any choice. From being a quite and unnoticed student, now I cant walk anywhere without being unnoticed. I have encountered many stubborn headed and some extremely egoistic teachers. Some of which I wish I could just twist their ears and tell them " Moron, listen to me, you are no God, so don't behave like one!" They are many times I have burst out crying in the restroom, just wanting to run away and to hug someone. Now, thinking back, it was a lesson to make me strong and to move on. It was God's way of saying " See child, this is life, not the one you think it is, meet some of these people, they will teach you how to live." How true! Friends? Well,I had many. Still do. But strangely, it was those who I have met in the last two years who have been my strength. Family? My BIGGEST bundle of joy and love. I would never trade them in for anything! No, thank you , I am much happier in their presence. I remember a friend telling me once, " God only test those who are strong" . Well, thanks Lord, I am strong, just be my foundation-my strength and I am sure I wont have a problem facing the world.

My love

His strong arms wrapping me
His breath gently
Moistening my neck
His heart beat
Singing our favorite song
His fingers artistically
Making its way up and down my arms
Stopping on its journey
To carve an invisible love on my skin
Only felt by me
Sending a wave of happiness
That slowly pulls me into a sea of joy
His toes naughtily caressing my legs
I let go a small giggle
With his constant kisses on my shoulder
I looked up at his face
His blue eyes is a beauty of its own
They instantly connected with mine
We spoke
With no words
A million things were said
Yet no one heard us
His face
Looked like thousands of diamonds
Put together
Glowing under the sunlight
I thanked Lord
A silent prayer went His way
Letting Him know
How grateful I am
To be loved!

A New Start

I sat by the window
Looking out
Into the horizon
The mountain top
Framed by the dark blue sky
Keeps me wondering
Where does this journey end
What is in store tomorrow
Will the purple morning glory bloom,
Spreading warmth and joy to my heart
Will the morning bird chippings
Come as a beautiful tune into my ear
Will the cold breeze touch my skin
Giving me a feeling of joy
Uplifting my spirit
To go ahead with another new day
Or will it be just another day
With the sound of traffics deafening me
And the smoke clogging the pores of my skin
Aging me
Looking much older than my true age
Or just another sight of insane beings
Scratching one another with sharp claws
To be the best
Whatever it is,
Lies in the eye of the beholder,
A change can only be done
When the way something is looked at is changed,
A closed door,
Can be the end of the world
or merely a start to a new journey...

A Thousand Words Of Thank You May Never Be Enough

A SPECIAL NOTE: THIS GOES TO SAY THANK YOU TO MY SECOND SISTER SHAM.YOU ARE MY BIGGEST STRENGTH. A SINCERE THANK YOU!

AND I AM SHARING THEM WITH THE REST WHO NEEDS A LITTLE COMFORT, WHO NEEDS SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT, AND TO THOSE WHO LOVES, APPRECIATE, AND LEARNS FROM LIFE.INDEED," LIFE IS THE BIGGEST UNIVERSITY"- HOW TRUE, THOSE WERE THE ADVICE BY MY LATE FATHER.

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling.
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it.

They Are Back, And I Am The Most Happiest Person!

Wait, .... just had to calm myself. My heart was beating in excitement , and no no no, not due to exams , wait a sec, my heart beats in FEAR in case of an exam=)this is purely because of the first picture that caught my eye this morning in the papers....

AHHHH!Madness! Purely mad! Think I am going crazy, I just love the both of them! Love, Love, Love! Now, they are back again in " My Name Is Khan". I feel like screaming in excitement. They have got the best chemistry on screen, just so perfect , like how perfectly an antigen binds to an antibody! That's how perfect. I can't wait to watch! You know, I used to grow up watching their movies, always pretending to be Kajol ( common I am sure I am not the only one like that, rite?) or dancing to their songs , and falling totally in love for the solid 3 hours that the show runs. Its divine and pure love. Pardon me again for the crapping, but I have got a disproportionate amount of happiness in me today, like a new flow of energy. I think its fair, considering the fact that yesterday I had THE worst day in my life. Today, I just want to drown in a sea of happiness.LA,LA,LA,LA,LA....

Lotus F1 Racing VS Virgin Racing

Datuk Seri Tony Fernandes VS Sir Richard Branson

Now, both these GROWNUP boys own their own airline. The bet is-the loser of the F1 race between Lotus F1 Racing & Virgin Racing, has to dress up as a flight attendant on the winner's airline. How cool is that? I don't mean bad alright, but this is just like one of the movies in which two business rivals fight with one another, doing the ridiculous things to see who is the best! And I really think its funny and cool.Just imagine, one of them will end up in a stewardess outfit, serving you.What a sight!Can't wait to see who the winner is...

Quotes For The Day

" Resentments are guaranteed to hinder our growth. We can never know full happiness when resentment clouds our vision. Why is it so hard for us to "forget" the small injuries of life? We have never been promised freedom from pain. Many of the lessons we are destined to learn will scuff our egos. But we will know happiness, completely, if we free our minds of resentments.

The formula for happiness is simple. We don't need material wealth, a perfect job, or an exceptional relationship. In fact, it's possible to know happiness with no job, very little money, and no significant other. Happiness is a by-product of a healthy attitude. And a healthy attitude is one that takes the normal turmoil of life. I am in charge of my attitude today. Happiness is a choice I can make regardless of what the people around me are doing."
A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey --- Submitted by Steven Wingell


" When I try hard, don't succeed and see only darkness; when I have no hope and decide to give it up, God shows omens of his existence and gives me the best I deserve."
Pradnya Potdar

" When the weight of the world becomes your problem, you need to trust in God and leave it all in his hands and he will see you through. Until then, chill out and let God have his way."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Kretika L. --- North Carolina

I Just Had My High School Life' Flashed' Before My Eyes

Pre-examination look:

- unruly eyebrows
- scratched marks and black spots on the face
- stressed induced hair drop
-weight oh weight-i have put on weight =(
-24 hour coffee smelling breath
- black circles around the eye
- white of the eye turning red in the evening
-a constantly beating heart

Haloha, I don't usually blog during exams-having a major exam. But anyways , thought I will write down what happened today before I loose my sentiments attached to the event of the day.By the way those description above are only applicable to me before major exams. I got up this morning with a somewhat depressed- somewhat scared- somewhat giving up feeling. Had to go see a lecturer today to clear some issues with attendance. But I was already not feeling that good about today. However, I went and got things settle. Than I met another lecturer ( you know the same person whom I spoke about in My Life: Less Than 48 hours- Part 2) to get my marks. Than we were discussing the answers. She complemented me=) it went something like this " You are an intelligent girl, you have answered very well, continue and do the same for your finals". As we were talking , she said " Don't run away from life". I am like huh??? Why suddenly? Out of the blue. But it sounded right, like a lesson someone needed to put through right into my head. " Don't be stressed, study, don't think of your problems, I know its not easy, keep them apart, even till now it affects me, but you have to do your best, all for your father, be a good doctor, and He will bless you". " God takes something and gives something else, you at least have your sisters to depend on." I teared. I hung my head down and silently thank her and was brought back to the past and suddenly reality hit me. Sometimes , just sometimes I wonder, why do I meet people like her,when, I am in the verge of giving up and breaking down and crying for the amount of stress I have, but she just gives me motivation out of the blue, its as if God told her to encourage me. I thanked her........(moments of silence for me to clear my thoughts).......... And made my way out of the office. So , as I was walking, these bunch of guys walked pass me. Suddenly, I heard someone shouting " Ruby". Huh? I am pretty sure I did not see anyone that I know in the last 6 feet distance. I turned and I see this guy walking up to me. Think Ruby , think , think fast, who is he??? Ringggg, oh my high school friend.Oh boy, it was surely nice to see him after, hmm, 6 years. I went like " Vicky?" "Yeah", came his response. Oh my god, "Vicky here? What are you doing?" Duh , obviously studying I thought to myself but you know I was all just excited to see a friend after such a long time.It was like a trip down memory lane just by seeing him. We spoke, and I got to know he joined my college after his college back in Padang was hit by earthquake. After which, we said our goodbyes. About 10 feet distance from me, he shouted and said " You have not changed!" I am like , oh my god , just strike my mind I am not all well dressed up today- With my extra pounds, hair tied into a bun, undone eyebrows, NO Eyeliner and mascara( the worst of all) , and a all scratched up face? Damn. Okay the thing is I would have like to see an old friend in a much more presentable way- you know like at least I have evolved in the last 6 years! God, I..., well, felt extremely disappointed and like really crushed=( I felt like telling him, " Hey buddy, check me out after 3 months okay? Now like I am having my finals, I am not really myself" but unfortunately, I could not shout in the presence of others. I just smiled and walked away. Well yeah, that was exactly how my morning was. I was happy to see him but was saddened later.But he is a smart guy, said it at quite a distance, or else I would have had him turned upside down and swallow back his words! Hehe. No doubt he has grown into one fine man.

P/S= Can't wait for the exams to be over! Please pray for me=) Love you people.

Believing,Faith,Soaring High,Not Giving Up

The World is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts, we can change the world.

-H.M. Tomlinson

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.

-Arthur Rubinstein

Two men look out through the same bars; one sees the mud and the other one the stars.

-Frederick Langbridge

The mind is like a river; upon its waters thoughts float through in a constant procession every conscious moment. You stand on a bridge over it and can stop and turn back any thought that comes along. The art of contentment is to let no thought pass that is going to disturb you.

-Dr. Frank Crane

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.

-Ken Keyes, Jr.

One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life.

-Edward B. Butler

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that are forever blowing through one's mind.

-Mark Twain

man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.

-Charles Schwab

We do not see things they are. We see them as we are.

-Talmud

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

-Confucius

There is a basic law that like attracts like. Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results. Conversely, if a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully, his positive thinking sets in motion creative forces -- and success instead of eluding him flows toward him.

-Norman Vincent Peale

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

-Marcus Aurelius (A.D. 121-180)

The real secret of happiness is simply this: to be willing to live and let live, and to know very clearly in one's own mind that the unpardonable sin is to be an unpleasant person.

-Galen Starr Ross

This is the best day the world has ever seen. Tomorrow will be better.

-R.A. Campbell

Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy.

-Dale Carnegie

It's Never Easy Being A Mom

( I got this while browsing the net.Hope it makes your day. Goes to tell how being a mum is not easy. Guess,baking and kids don't go hand in hand=)

Mom's new recipe

Mom's Brownies Recipe

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.

Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.

Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."

Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.

Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.

Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.

Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.

Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.

Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.

Let cat out of refrigerator.

Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.

Bake 25 minutes.

Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

Frosting

Mix the following in saucepan:

1 cup sugar

1 oz unsweetened chocolate

1/4 cup margarine

Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put Jr in playpen.

Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.

Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

Tie Billy to clothesline.

Remove burned brownies from oven