My Independence & A Big Thank You

Morning. I have finally finished my professional exams and I am a full fledged final year student. Yeah! Honestly,yesterday was my New Year. Now, I am on par with the rest. And,I can finally pay attention to one thing till my next exam. This is the day I was waiting for since I made the decision to defer my studies in 2008. And finally it is here. Trust me folks, any trials in this journey is always a temporary thing and it will pass by fast, whatever it is. It is just one of God's way of making us strong. Studies was never the only issue for me , since acha left , there was so many emotional downfalls in life. So many people to cater for especially family. No, I am not complaining--- the start of anything in life is never an easy one but as it goes things will eventually fall in place. Time probably heals the pain- not completely perhaps a little. 2 years was definitely an eye opener-meeting people, understanding them, standing up for yourself, appreciating the small things that makes a great difference, maturing and the feel of wanting to do everything right now, this very moment, to spent when I want to, to go on a vacation or a trip or anything without giving much of a thought, to dance till I am exhausted, to see more people, and a lot more to name. So, I was thinking, I am going to take some time to thank some people who had been there, and made a difference in the last 2 years directly or indirectly. I have never particularly mentioned any one's name before so if I did today I am being truly sincere and wishing you people a big thank you from the bottom of my heart.

1) Sham chechi

Where do I start when it comes to you, basically everything was possible due to
your effort. The amount of patience, love and understanding and support that
you gave all throughout-from the time I deffered my studies, all the train journeys to keep me company and all the encouragement.Oh yes, and the driving will never be possible if it was not for your support. And I needed you the most to keep me sane.To listen to me pour my heart out!Thank you for being rational.

2) Ma-me mummy

Despite all the irrationalities and emotional downfall, as a mother, you are still the best. You had a dual role since 2008-both as a dad & a mum. And you did both very well. You have always worried about not being able to do it right and not as perfectly as acha- but honestly no one could have done it better than you! Chumi's wedding would not have been possible without you! And I would not have made it this far as well. I admire you patience & always wished I had half of it.So, thank you and love you.

3) Priscillia

You are part of the family now. Thank you for all the help. And especially for all the driving around to distribute the cards and to settle everything else-from the slide making, to the late nights chats and to be very patient with the DJ=) So many things would not have been possible without you. So thank you!

4) Kishore

Thank you for all the wonderful lunch and dinner and hours and hours of time spent talking. Really kept my mind off things. Thank you for making me feel welcomed and not so awkward when I was back for my studies. And also for sending me home that Christmas morning. Truly a friend I can count on.So, a big thank you and do let me no if I am of any help.

5) Sarita

A big thank you and a hug for listening to me pour my heart out at the time I needed most. And also, for allowing me to stay over! I really appreciate it. Hope to return your favour one day. And as promised, will get you your Tatiana=) & it was nice having you around back home and to be able to explore my primary school, thanx to you.

6) Rathi

Thank you for filling me up with all the stories=) and keeping me happy. I sort of felt like I was back in the class and did not miss anything, thanx to you.

P/S= Off to gym now. Have a blessed day!

The Mask

My heart is aching.I wish I can capture this moment. Seize everything - my friends, my time , friendship, wishing everything will be back to normal. Being in the same circle of friends , and sharing the same joy. The moment this exams are over , things are going to be very different. For once in life if I ever love the existence of exam , is during this period of my life , just being in the company of old friends, doing the same things as them. I feel like screaming out loud asking Lord why this has to happen this way? I know the answer won't be apparent now , but someday, I am hoping HE will show me the answer, there has to be a reason for all these! Till then the clock is ticking... You know when people say there are different chapters in life , this is just one of it , that I am going through , I do realize , but when I think with my heart and use emotions along with it , I can't control my tears. At times , just once , I wish I am emotionless! Its funny ,people around me don't seem to realize I have a heart , well of course , all my laughter overrules all the tears. So, the sadness is masked!

My Penang Trip 2

I look scary!

Parames, what you doing?

Precious friends

The gal next to me has very beautiful eyes, well defined!

I like how rathi's curls and the " whatever" spiral thing hanging from the tree complementing each other!

Ma Penang Trip

(From left-Joanne, Rathi, Parames and myself)

( Me & Parames )

Finally, as promised, a short note on my Penang trip.Don't have all the picture though! Will try to get them as soon as possible. So those are the three of them that made my day-Jo,Ratz, and Parames. The awesome part about the whole trip was definitely the ferry ride!My favourite! Just standing there at the deck of the ferry, with the wind blowing against my face, the view of the island at the far end, the sound of the wave hitting against the ferry, and the wonderful sight of jellyfish drifting lazily in the water was just awesome! We had our breakfast in Anandha Bhavan-disappointing nasi lemak but the best bru coffee and oh yeah, our topic of discussion-period;) { Galz, what do ya expect, not really sure how we ended up with such a topic though!}
Next, was all about walking down the Little India street- looking, analyzing and of course shopping! Then, we came to a shop but I couldn't make myself step into the shop- it was the sight of the man sitting there with a weary look clad in a blue checkered sarong. There was something familiar about the sight.I have seen it and gone through it before but the man back then happen to be my dad.No wonder, tears just welled up in my eye and my heart beat faster and I just moved on to the next shop with the pain filling me up.Then, I noticed I can't run away! Anything and everything brings back those bitter memories! Well, moving on, we hopped into the bus and went to Queensbay Mall----FOR LUNCH! Haha, should have looked at us, it was nearly four and our stomach was growling in hunger and we looked pathetic, it is as if we were just ready to swallow anything coming our way, but hey, we dragged ourselves to KFC and the rest is history:) We did not really have much time to look around the mall, so we did a very fast window shopping to catch the next bus and then the ferry back home! Oh by the way, I ended my day with nasi lemak again! So, that is basically how I spend my day with these wonderful and lovely friends of mine. Planning for a next trip there very soon and this time we are gonna stay there. Bu bye, loads of love and hug!

A Sweet Vendeta

Have you got girlfriend's that stand in your way all the time? Well, I know I do.Had them since primary school.Once they are out of your life, you feel so much of freedom! I had two types-one, which constantly wants to be the first in everything and requires attention and the other which takes a liking and wants everything you do and also needs attention and yet you would be there for them all the time because you are genuine in your friendship. I prefer the first type of course.Funny, I always thought I will grow up hating people like that but only to realize I am like this today because of the competitive circumstances created by that one person that made me want to learn more in life.Well, the second type is whom I can go on laughing, enjoying but end of the day leaving you with tears of pain and after all those years of friendship, you realize they don' t even know you one bit. They are there with you cause they need to grow, then they leave.SELFISH!The type that buys everything that you like, steals your words and ideas and use them in a conversation with your group of friends, leaving you behind with no words to say, those that enjoys attention and majorly seeks for one and spoils your day!I have been feeling down all the time with this person around me, looking out for her all the time, only to know she is not particularly genuine! Now that this person is not around, I want to be me, don't want to feel robbed of my own self!This is life, sometimes , you are too close to a person, that ,you don't even want to voice out anything to them for the fear of hurting them but then you realize end of the day that for the amount you have been hurt, that person does not deserve your friendship and love, share them with someone who is more honest.Feel like a step in the ladder that have been used by the other person to climb their way to success.You don't need people like this who doesn't respect you!Move on!At least, I am trying! Show them you are better off than them!